Dear Dumb Diary,

A long time ago, I wrote a letter to the president about the space program and how it would be a good idea for ME to select the people who should be shot into space.

I made a lot of very good points about who should be selected, such as weight, ease of stuffing into a bag and tossing into a rocket, unnatural blondness of hair, and how much happier our Earth would be as a result. 

I was much younger when I wrote it, and I understand that my ideas would not have been seriously considered.

But that was six months ago, and now I think I am qualified to choose.

Being awesome is only half the battle.

Sneak a peek inside the diary of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything she writes is true... or at least as true as it needs to be.